Today I am feeling very low.
Why?
Because I developed hatred for someone I loved dearly till yesterday.
Now, before you jump to conclusions hear me out.
We love from our heart, right?
Wrong!
Actually, we love first from our mind. Then it gets transmitted to the heart.
The problem is that when we love from the heart it is unreasonably fixated. When we love from mind, it is realistic. It considers all factors and only then decides to put that spark in the heart.
Once in the heart, it remains etched into permanency till… it is so broken that it goes back into the mind, which throws it off.
Till yesterday, despite all the signals I kept ignoring, because that desire kindled somewhere in the corner of my heart. Though I knew that the time had moved on… I believed we could still make it work.
Till yesterday.
After years of trying to convince about how truly deep my love was but when we met yesterday my heart, my mind, my sense of touch, smell and hearing AND my intuitive sixth sense all came together… And I guess the message came loud and clear.
My heart let go of that deep feeling and sent it to my mind to analyze. In a way I guess the subconscious part of the mind had already known it; and it was now that the conscious mind analyzed and, in a way, approved the break up and decided to let go.
I am so surprised and as I write this. I am wondering whether this is just a transient feeling of anger. And I know that while there is anger, and sadness, the circle is complete.
A crack in the heart…. I will bear it as a remembrance of wonderful times we shared together; experiencing the most beautiful feeling that is so rare.
I used to love… I have lost.
I had collected so many pictures over the past years- and would often look at them wonderfully his beautiful everything was. Today, I deleted them all.
Time has come to forget and move on.
I am sad, and wonder if there would be another such phase ever in my life again.
Who knows? At the moment, I just want to sleep….
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